These Boots are Made for Getting Stuck!

I was on a mission from God, find the perfect knee high black boots to wear during all of my cold weather travels. The main obstacle in my way you ask? My large, beastly cankles that keep me from putting just any boot on my leg.

I was home in Dallas, shopping mecca, and I figured this was as good a time as ever. I went to DSW, shoe heaven, and started working towards making this goal a reality. I tried on a few pairs, and by try on I mean, struggle to zip my large calf into the boot so that it can dunlop over the edge.

I found a Nine West boot that was just okay. I did manage to get it zipped up all the way (a major step), but I just wasn't crazy about them. I went to unzip the boot, and the zipper was stuck on a piece of leather underneath. I tried pulling it up, down, sideways, but nothing was happening, this boot was permanently stuck....on my large, unshaven (yeah my boyfriend lives abroad) cankle!

I struggled, I started to panic. Thoughts like, "I have a wedding to go to tonight, I can't have one boot on!" were going through my head. I worked on it for about 5 minutes when a male employee spotted the panic on my face and headed my direction. He asked if I was having a problem, and there was no hiding my dilemna, I confessed that I had gotten this $150 boot stuck on my leg.

I thought that once I had turned the problem over to a "professional" that it would be off in no time, that I would be trying on other boots in a flash. Unfortunately, he too could not get the zipper to move. This baby was stuck, and I was beginning to sweat from my panic induced state as onlookers were slowly starting to gather to probably place bets on how this sucker was going to come off.

After ten minutes of a valiant struggle, reinforcements had to be called in the form of the manager and another female employee. This meant that three strangers were now going to be touching my sweaty, bulging and hairy leg in front of an audience of fellow shoe shoppers. They too were unsuccessful. This is when the phrase was uttered that brought a gasp to my audience. "Ma'm we're going to have to cut this boot of you."

The girl went to run to grab the scissors. How was this possible? I came in for boots and now they are having to cut one off of me. Just as she was coming back with the scissors, the manager got a bright idea. She ran and grabbed a bottle of lotion out of her purse, poured it down my boot leg, lubed me up and then all three pulled. That boot went flying off, and the crowd of onlookers began to clap.

Yes the boot came off without being subjected to the scissors, but it was still damaged and so was my shopping experience. Any rookie could have stopped right there and gone home, dripping in lotion, but not this shopper. I still had a mission, and I was going to accomplish it.

Yes I held my head up, and I continued to shop until I found that perfect pair that had the right heel height, nice detailing and of course, enough room for my cankles. We were a match made in shoe heaven.