Something to get Behind

I know it has been a long time since I've posted to the ole Blog. I sincerely apologize to all of you avid blog readers (aka my grandmothers). This topic that I'm bringing to all of you is an issue that is really close to my heart, and I think, as responsible citizens, we should get behind this.

I hate Crocs. There I said, and I've written it and now it is out there. Deal with it all of you. I hate the shoes, and I cannot fathom what makes people wear them in public. Yes I have heard they are are soooo comfortable and light as air. Well, so is wearing your birthday suit, and believe me, I don't think people want to see that either. Sadly, I've seen some of my most fashion conscious friends fall victim to the calling of these plastic horrors.

Now all of you who know me, know that I'm not all about Jimmy Choos and the latest shoe trends, but someone has to stand up and stop the madness. There is comfortable and then there is just plain insanity. What about elf like shoes with holes is appealing? There have been other ugly shoes out there that are comfortable but no one is flocking to buy those (please go to any nursing home to see examples).

If you are a Croc wearer and my friend, please take yourself out of this cult like thought process, and really look at what is on your feet. Now that you've come to your senses, please kick them off and shove them in the back of your closet with the poncho you bought in 2003. Don't worry, you'll be able to wear them again someday to a costume party, they'll look great with the poncho.

If you are not a Croc wearer, then you are at least sane, but let me just tell you, these people are after you. Don't succumb to the pressure. I assure you that this too shall pass, and you need to be strong. Together, we can make this very bad trend a future topic for "I love the 2000's" on VH1.

There are others out there who support this effort. Please visit http://ihatecrocsblog.blogspot.com/ to educate yourself and others about the Croc plague and what we can do to stop it. Remember only you have control over what goes on your feet.

These Boots are Made for Getting Stuck!

I was on a mission from God, find the perfect knee high black boots to wear during all of my cold weather travels. The main obstacle in my way you ask? My large, beastly cankles that keep me from putting just any boot on my leg.

I was home in Dallas, shopping mecca, and I figured this was as good a time as ever. I went to DSW, shoe heaven, and started working towards making this goal a reality. I tried on a few pairs, and by try on I mean, struggle to zip my large calf into the boot so that it can dunlop over the edge.

I found a Nine West boot that was just okay. I did manage to get it zipped up all the way (a major step), but I just wasn't crazy about them. I went to unzip the boot, and the zipper was stuck on a piece of leather underneath. I tried pulling it up, down, sideways, but nothing was happening, this boot was permanently stuck....on my large, unshaven (yeah my boyfriend lives abroad) cankle!

I struggled, I started to panic. Thoughts like, "I have a wedding to go to tonight, I can't have one boot on!" were going through my head. I worked on it for about 5 minutes when a male employee spotted the panic on my face and headed my direction. He asked if I was having a problem, and there was no hiding my dilemna, I confessed that I had gotten this $150 boot stuck on my leg.

I thought that once I had turned the problem over to a "professional" that it would be off in no time, that I would be trying on other boots in a flash. Unfortunately, he too could not get the zipper to move. This baby was stuck, and I was beginning to sweat from my panic induced state as onlookers were slowly starting to gather to probably place bets on how this sucker was going to come off.

After ten minutes of a valiant struggle, reinforcements had to be called in the form of the manager and another female employee. This meant that three strangers were now going to be touching my sweaty, bulging and hairy leg in front of an audience of fellow shoe shoppers. They too were unsuccessful. This is when the phrase was uttered that brought a gasp to my audience. "Ma'm we're going to have to cut this boot of you."

The girl went to run to grab the scissors. How was this possible? I came in for boots and now they are having to cut one off of me. Just as she was coming back with the scissors, the manager got a bright idea. She ran and grabbed a bottle of lotion out of her purse, poured it down my boot leg, lubed me up and then all three pulled. That boot went flying off, and the crowd of onlookers began to clap.

Yes the boot came off without being subjected to the scissors, but it was still damaged and so was my shopping experience. Any rookie could have stopped right there and gone home, dripping in lotion, but not this shopper. I still had a mission, and I was going to accomplish it.

Yes I held my head up, and I continued to shop until I found that perfect pair that had the right heel height, nice detailing and of course, enough room for my cankles. We were a match made in shoe heaven.