Royal National Lifeboat Institution

Here's Alex on the life boat. Some of you might wonder what he does as a volunteer lifeboatsman. Well so far, nothing, b/c he hasn't made any saves. Which I'm told is a good thing.

Napoleon

Now I know you've heard of his majesty but most of you have never before experienced his awesome class and his high tech style. I give you...NAPOLEON!

The Track and Tennis

It has come to my attention that I've been living a very posh life the last few weeks. Not only did I cheer on the ponies at the famous Ladies Day at Royal Ascot, but I also caught a few jolly good sets of tennis at a little event I think they call Wimbledon.


Before I know it I'm going to develop a fake accent, refer to everything as lovely, and eat puddings rather than dessert.

What are you kidding? Do you know who I was raised by? This kind of sarcasm and crudity just doesn't disappear over night. Following are the faux pas that were committed at said events:

1. At Ascot, I suggested to a group of very proper older women that they only lived once and should therefore have their picture taken with a drag queen.

2. Called Elizabeth "Ole Bessie" as her royal procession drove down the track.

3. Not aware of Tennis etiquette, sat down before the game was over. Gasp...not before the game was over! I swear the ball boys were out for blood.

4. Again not aware that Tennis was so tame, yelled out, "Good Effort!" in a dead silent crowd. Did manage to get one Chinese tourist to chuckle.

5. Megan and I tried to keep the tennis ball that came at us over the fence (like in baseball), but was then informed that we needed to give it back because we were in England and that British people were too polite to keep it.


6. Dubbed one of the players "Gut boy."

So there you have it. It just goes to show you that you can put a Getter in England, but you can't put England into a Getter.

Interviewing 101

I think I should write a book on what NOT to do during, before and after an interview. Let's review my history shall we?...

November 2004
Position being interviewed for: Production Secretary
Company: Leopard Films
Salary: below minimum wage
Summary: Was working the Texas charm for as long as I could then they hit me with that hard hitting question, "so what do you think the duties of a Production Secretary are?" Having no clue whatsoever, I bullshitted my way along which received confused looks. To which I then responded, "I have no clue." Score...

Febuary 2005
Position being interviewed for: Researcher
Company: Leopard Films
Salary: again below minimum wage
Summary: Was totally underexperienced and cried during the interview...NEXT!

June 2005
Position being interviewed for: Researcher
Company: Attaboy Productions
Salary: I said between 300-350...of course they're going to pick the lower sum...dumb ass!
Summary: Went in for a researcher on a car show, they asked what I knew about cars. I replied with, "I come from a state where there are big ones." Ponder that for just a while...yeah after I sign off here I'm going to get a tattoo across my forehead that says 'dip shit.'

Love y'all miss y'all. Good to see everyone while we were in Texas.

Until next time,
Court

Oh My God We're Back Again!

Here's the latest adventure that I've had in ole England:

I was watching "Top of the Pops" on the BBC where they feature each weeks biggest number one in the UK. The Backstreet Boys were performing their new single which requires them to get down on their knees and act really heartbroken (the video even includes thrown sand). It was gripping. Knowing that the show is filmed in London, this meant that the Backstreet Boys were in town, and I bet they were ready to party (especially the one fresh from rehab).

So I'm walking through Regents park the next morning with my high school cronie Amber and flatmate Kerstie to go to the tube. Its a beautiful day in London...almost 75 degrees. This man is running towards us. First thought: He's good looking. Second Thought: He could pass for one of the Backstreet Boys. Third thought: Holy Hell it is a Backstreet Boy - it was meant to be.

After telling random strangers of our brush with fame, we went on to Portobello Market. There I realized that I was shopping next to none other than Hermione of Harry Potter. This day was every pre-teen's fantasy...Harry Potter and a Backstreet Boy. How could I be so lucky?!

So there you have it. Hopefully this will make your day or at least make you envious of my glamorous lifestyle rubbing elbows with the sorta rich (more money than me) and the somewhat/used to be famous.