Director of Pet Relations

My hotel in Portland, Oregon is called Hotel Monaco. It is such a fun, sassy hotel, but the best part about it is that it has a "Director of Pet Relations", and it is a yellow lab which greets all the other pets that come to stay at the hotel. His name is Art. More puppy love in Oregon. I love this state!

Carnivore

Sometimes you just need to lay down the fork and knife and grab the cow by the bone.

Brooke's Travel Tips - What not to say

Now that I'm a seasoned traveller both near and far, I think I can share with you some of the phrases you might not want to say in an airport, on a plane, in security or just whenever. These are actual phrases I've heard...not even kidding.

"Apparently I'm a security threat."

"This airport is closed and you are all suckers for getting on that flight. That flight is going no where."

"So I just had my colon exam..."

"Miss, I can't get any reception up here."

"I'm flying home to help my brother be committed to a mental institution so that he won't have to go to jail for selling meth."

"I got kicked out of fat camp for sneaking out to buy alcohol and Doritos."

"I accidentally spilled some gasoline on my shoe."

"Can I take my bow and arrow set through security?"

"People used to be really impressed with my forklift driving abilities, but now that I operate the tablet machinery, I really pick up the ladies."

"My baby is only 3 weeks old." (On a flight from Atlanta to Phoenix)

"No, I told you, each girl costs $200 an hour."

You Love Me, You Really Love Me

This is an email that I received from one Nancy Underwood. I had to share it so that you all know that I have a fan base, one fan strong and counting.

Brooke,
As you are the funniest person I know, I am begging you to please post some great new stories on your blog! Friday is hard, I'm sleepy,
I'm writing the most boring legal documents ever. DISTRACT ME!
NCU

I will do what I can to entertain you all. :)