Mew Mew Beep Beep

You've read about them in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and if you are like me, then you probably thought the author was fudging the truth about some of his characters found in Savannah, Georgia. How could there possibly be this many wack-jobs walking the streets in such a small town? I now completely believe the writings of John Berendt and the tales of his Savannah crazies. I would like to highlight the two that I've had encounters with in the last 24 hours.

Ecounter #1
My co-worker, Jenny, and I were headed to get ourselves some grub, when we came across an entire litter of kittens trying to cross the road. Since we both wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing we had let them continue this death wish(Mother Teresa move over), we stopped the car to try and save them. They were trying to cross the street because their mother was on the other side. As soon as we approached, they all darted in between the slats of a white picket fence and into the overgrown grass and up a palm tree that was close by. I'm a dog whisperer, and I don't speak kitten, but apparently the man we met next did speak cat. He approached us and introduced himself as "The Governor" and asked what we were doing. We explained, but he cut us off after seeing the cats. He told us he had run a shelter for 20 years in New Mexico, and he knew what to do and was going to teach us. He then started making these weird sounds and unfortunately, writing cannot do it justice. He sort of squated and squealed, "Mew, mew, beep, beep, beep." After doing this several times, he said, "Now see, the kittens are in what is called an inducive state, and they are reacting to me as a mother." He then turned to us and said, "I speak 20 languages including Coon-ass." "Mew, mew, beep, beep, beep," he continued. As we kept trying to get out of this weird situation, we attempted to interrupt, but he wanted to then analyze Jenny's personality. We left him climbing the fence to get the cats while they were in their inducive (what the heck?) state.

Encounter #2
You all have probably heard me talk about this lady. She is most certainly crazy, and she sits in one of the squares and yells at people. My first experience with her was when I was walking through the square and she kept yelling, "Move on slut! Keep on slut!" Yes it was startling at first, but highly entertaining to be yelled out in the middle of the afternoon by a crazy person on a Wednesday. I've had sightings of her since then, usually from afar, and she was mumbling mostly. Then she took up residence at the gas station within view of my balcony. This was like my own live dinner theater. I could sit and watch her yell at people while enjoying my meal. I didn't know my apartment had this ammenity. My landlord could have probably charged at least $50.00 more if he knew how much pleasure I would get out of this sight. Then today, I'm walking through her old square, and there she was on her favorite bench. I hadn't been confronted by her in awhile, but as we passed, she didn't let me down. "Hello ladies? What ya doin ladies? Ladies, ladies, ladies," she spoke as she rocked back and forth. Then as we came back from getting coffee, she was holding a tape recorder and talking about her love of pineapples and what she liked to do with pineapples. I wonder how I can get a copy of that tape?