It has come to my attention that I've been living a very posh life the last few weeks. Not only did I cheer on the ponies at the famous Ladies Day at Royal Ascot, but I also caught a few jolly good sets of tennis at a little event I think they call Wimbledon.
Before I know it I'm going to develop a fake accent, refer to everything as lovely, and eat puddings rather than dessert.
What are you kidding? Do you know who I was raised by? This kind of sarcasm and crudity just doesn't disappear over night. Following are the faux pas that were committed at said events:
1. At Ascot, I suggested to a group of very proper older women that they only lived once and should therefore have their picture taken with a drag queen.
2. Called Elizabeth "Ole Bessie" as her royal procession drove down the track.
3. Not aware of Tennis etiquette, sat down before the game was over. Gasp...not before the game was over! I swear the ball boys were out for blood.
4. Again not aware that Tennis was so tame, yelled out, "Good Effort!" in a dead silent crowd. Did manage to get one Chinese tourist to chuckle.
5. Megan and I tried to keep the tennis ball that came at us over the fence (like in baseball), but was then informed that we needed to give it back because we were in England and that British people were too polite to keep it.
6. Dubbed one of the players "Gut boy."
So there you have it. It just goes to show you that you can put a Getter in England, but you can't put England into a Getter.
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