Now that I'm a seasoned traveller both near and far, I think I can share with you some of the phrases you might not want to say in an airport, on a plane, in security or just whenever. These are actual phrases I've heard...not even kidding."Apparently I'm a security threat."
"This airport is closed and you are all suckers for getting on that flight. That flight is going no where."
"So I just had my colon exam..."
"Miss, I can't get any reception up here."
"I'm flying home to help my brother be committed to a mental institution so that he won't have to go to jail for selling meth."
"I got kicked out of fat camp for sneaking out to buy alcohol and Doritos."
"I accidentally spilled some gasoline on my shoe."
"Can I take my bow and arrow set through security?"
"People used to be really impressed with my forklift driving abilities, but now that I operate the tablet machinery, I really pick up the ladies."
"My baby is only 3 weeks old." (On a flight from Atlanta to Phoenix)
"No, I told you, each girl costs $200 an hour."
1 comment:
Another helpful travel tip is when you are about to check in your luggage and the security guy asks you "Did anyone else handle your bags?" you should not reply "Just the middle eastern guy mumbling something about a Gee Ha or something like that?". Also stay away from the response of slowing describing in great detail the guy that is about to check your luggage in a very accusatory manner, they really hate that.
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